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Monday 24 January 2011

1956 - October - December

October. Soviet Union has trouble in Poland, Hungary, Britain with Suez Canal.. Sixth Form in Winchester. Clem's oecumenical christening.

Wednesday, Oct 3rd
    Had a talk with Mary about our plans. She stressed so much the difficulty of the situation if her father survived her mother that I began to think she did not want to get married! but it was only the policy of looking at the worst possible contingencies!

Sunday, Oct 7th
    Johnnie's birthday. Phyllis arrived with him almost before we had our breakfast. Her had already celebrated the occasion by kicking Jimmy in the teeth and had been given a sedative by Phyllis! Nora went down to tea. Jimmie had a temper tantrum, bit the carpet and then opened his mouth and shouted the place down. 

Saturday, Oct 13th
     I went over at 9.30 to Mr H. A. Finney, art teacher at Reading University, who lives at Wokingham, and he did a free chalk drawing of me - head and shoulders - for 10 guineas with frame and mount. It took over three hours with a cup of coffee at half time. I gave myself a treat on the strength of my increased salary! Perhaps this was rash, but I would like to leave something to my descendants and more immediately to dear Mary. 

Sun day, Oct 14th
    A lovely autumn day. Nora and I took our lunch out to Ewelme Down and we sat on a straw bale in the sun. Coming back we got some spindle, some of which I took to Miss Hunter, just back from hospital, and some to Cherry. She had applied for a job that began in January. She told me she had also applied to a marriage bureau, but they don't take women over 40! I said men have the best of everything!

Monday, Oct 15th
    Not a good day. I went into one of Mrs Paterson's lessons and found she really has not much idea how to teach. Another passenger to carry, I thought. Felt very discouraged. Asked the new rector up. He sounds like a normal human being - a change after Canon Crosse.

Wednesday, Oct 17th
    Showed Mary the chalk drawing. She was a bit doubtful about the mouth, but was very pleased with it and we hung it on the wall. It looked good.   
     I found Clem showing some Jews around the school. They were part of the collection he took to [his son] John's christening, with a few Roman Catholics and agnostics thrown in, about 1939, and then wondered why the parson, a high Anglican, was displeased. He is a funny chap.

 Sunday, Oct 21st
     We drove out to Beacon Hill. We climbed slowly to the top without any ill effects as far as I was concerned. We drove in the afternoon to Coombe and got back to the flat about six o'clock. My drawing greeted us. Mary said how comforting it was to have it in the flat and on Friday night she had been carried away by emotion and kissed it.

Thursday, Oct 25th
    Did the Sixth form trip to Winchester. A good and successful day. We got to the by-pass about 10.30. It ran under the cross road to St Giles' Hill in a cutting. However we scrambled up the side and fortunately there was no barbed wire at the top, got in the other road and reached the view over the city. The wind was very cold, but I pointed out the  walls and landmarks. We then went to the mill and the bridge. Here we lost two boys who made off to the Cathedral on their own, much to my annoyance.  Along the clear and swift stream to Wolvesey Palace, the outskirts of the college and the close. Here I gave a talk on the monastic buildings and took them for a quick view of the south transept, then went out along the west front. Went in and stood in the end rows of the nave chairs and said the Lord's Prayer and a collect for form prayers. Don't often have form prayers in a cathedral! 
    Took them a quick tour and then left them to their own devices with pens and notebooks. Went out and had my lunch by the river with one of the boys. We met at two outside the college. We were shown round by the head porter, whose grammar was awful. He also indulged in malapropisms, "execrated" instead of "consecrated" etc, but the children were very good and did not laugh until we were got out. Then went into the chapel, the hall, cloister and big school. In the cloister we stood by Wavell's grave. We had a pleasant walk to St Cross by the river. Here we met another trying old man, but saw the church and hall. Started back at four, reached Henley at 5.30.     

Sunday, Oct 28th
    The Soviet empire in Eastern Europe began breaking up this week. Mr Gomolka came back to power in Poland as a Polish Tito. The Russian leaders immediately flew to Warsaw to deal with what they imagined to be a party revolt to find themselves dealing with an insurgent nation. They were shown the door. They then had to decide whether to use force and alienate the neutrals. They baulked. Gomolka survives.
    In the same week the Hungarians rose but the Hungarian Communists could not hold the people in check and the Russian tanks fired on the crowds in Budapest. We don't know whether the government in the capital will survive. Very little news is coming out. Nothing for instance is known about the attitude of the Hungarian army.

Tuesday, Oct 30th
    Yesterday was a day! Israel started a larges scale invasion of the Sinai peninsular and claimed to be within 18 miles of the canal. This afternoon we and the French have given the two sides 12 hours to stop the fighting and said if they did not we would occupy key points on the canal.  The ten o'clock news was interrupted to say Nasser has rejected the ultimatum. Israel has started the war, without waiting to be attacked, while the Russians are busy. This gives the French and ourselves an opportunity we have been waiting for to take over the canal by force. I wonder whether Hilary is embarking for Egypt or still in Nicosia. Nora took the news much more calmly than I expected. 
    In Hungary the people seem to have won after a bloody struggle. There are to be free elections and Russian troops are to leave Budapest. There, over 6,000 people are supposed to have been killed and tens of thousands wounded.

Wednesday, Oct 31st
    Listening to the news all day. Half thought we might hear that landings had been made, but learnt that air attack on Egyptian bases had begun. We aim to destroy their air force before the invasion begins. We have crossed the line between peace and war so quickly that people are taken by surprise. The opposition continues to invoke the United Nations - in which we have twice invoked the veto - and boos the prime minister. The M/G loudly condemns the government for its "wickedness and folly."

November. Hungarian uprising crushed. British troops at Suez. Diarist admits he was wrong on Suez. Petrol rationing. The Diarist's final Prize Day. Ioan Vaughn Jones dies.

Thursday, Nov 1st
    The air attack on Egyptian bases continued yesterday. Our naval aircraft sank a blockship that was being towed into the canal and also an Egyptian destroyer off Haifa and another in the Red Sea.
    Opinion is obviously deeply divided. I think the government is right. We must consider the facts of the situation and not be led away by catchwords. The U.N. can express an opinion. It has condemned the closing of the canal before and no one has taken any notice. When war comes, who is prepared to do anything to stop it - no one! We are prepared to stop it, actually to do something.
    Nora very disturbed by "our aggression". Says she has met no one today - her first day at Guildford - who does not think the government wrong.

Friday, Nov 2nd
    Set off for Holly Bush about 11. Nora has gone to stay with Ken and Rita. Arrived at the farm for tea and as usual found it very cold (600ft). Discussed next autumn with Molly after tea.
    The Russians have obviously made up their minds to strangle the Hungarians. Tanks and troops moving west and refugees fleeing into Austria.
    The P.M. broadcast tonight. I thought he was quite good. The British and French governments have said they would go on with their action against Egypt until a U.N. force actually arrives and is accepted by Israel and Egypt.
 
Sunday, Nov 4th
    The last broadcast made from Budapest as the Russian tanks ringed the city and the Hungarians were threatened with bombing. Soon after midday the Russians announced "the counter revolution" had been crushed. The west and U.N.O. can do nothing but watch the suppression helplessly, a frightful tragedy.
 
Monday, Nov 5th
As I expected, the parachute drop began at dawn this morning at Port Said. Gloomy breakfast as Molly and Ruth both horrified. After an excellent lunch set off for Henley, which I reached just in time for the six o'clock news. Quick work. The governor of Port Said had had enough and was beginning negotiations for a ceasefire. At home I found copies of the Manchester Guardian and the Observer, all very vehemently against the government, even to the extent of placing the murder of Hungary at their door. Oxford dons loud in their condemnation. Indeed I seem among my acquaintance to be their only supporter, yet I am all the more convinced that they were right to act.

 Tuesday, Nov 6th
    Heard on the 8 o'clock news that commandos were landing at Port Said with guns and tanks. Crowds coming out to see them arrive! About six o'clock Egyptians and Israelis agreed to a ceasefire and we had agreed with the Sec. Gen. of U.N.O. to do the same at midnight if not attacked.
    Yesterday Bulganin addressed an open letter to the P.M (with his usual courtesy broadcast some hours before he got it!) in which he threatened this country with rockets. We replied with some appropriate remarks about the Russian activities in Hungary.
 
Diarist's note, dated 1962.
    In 1956 I was quite wrong.
    1) The Canal Co. had no power to guarantee free passage nor function to do so. No new "control" was set up by Nasser's action.
    2) The canal was in Egyptian territory and the company registered in Egypt.
    3. There was no threat to close the canal for canal income depended on being used and one quarter of users were British.
    Nasser "seized" the canal, but it was already Egyptian. He offered specific reassurances, which were ignored.
    The Hitler-Rhineland-Mein Kampf analogy bogus "image". 23 million Egyptians, miserably poor, illiterate, riddled with disease, no steel, 100,000 army - how were they to control all the Arab states, then all Africa, finally all Moslems (one sixth of mankind)? A false analogy known by those who used it to be false.
 
Thursday, Nov 8th
    In most European capitals there have been demonstrations against the Russians. In Paris the police looked on while the crowd sacked the communist party headquarters. 
    At last we have got the American election over. Eisenhower has been returned by a large majority.  We must now hope that American policy will be less erratic.
 
Saturday, Nov 10th
    Had been suggesting to Nora that we should give up telephone and save £20. But she pointed out that you couldn't be rung up. This no loss, I felt this morning. Had just got my trousers down when it started ringing and ringing. In the end hitched them up and went down. Phyllis wanted to know the way to Leighton Park!
    Phyllis his morning said she could not forgive the government for bringing us so near to war. The papers are still talking of Russian planes in Syria manned by "volunteers" and my guess is that Nasser's airfields were first on the list to prevent more Russian arms being flown in. Today the first contingents from the Scandinavian countries arrived in Italy and the Colombians set out in American planes from Bogota. At any rte it is sporting of the small countries to send these tiny contingents in hundreds in the face of Soviet armed might.
    The Red Cross convoys are sill waiting on the Austria-Hungarian border, but entry refused for fighting is still going on. The Russians appear to be starving Buda into submission. In spite of food being offered in the factories it is said that three quarters of the workers are still on strike.
   Mary said liftman was asked for "Lin and gery". When he looked blank, the customer asked, "Don't you speak English?"  Another asked for "Ats". He replied, "Millinery". "I said ats." Such are Saturday's customers in the era of the five day week.
 
Sunday, Nov 11th
    Listened to the Cenotaph service on the wireless. Then did a clearance of the loft and made a huge bonfire. Spent the rest of the day gardening and writing my report for Prize Day.
 
Tuesday, Nov 12th
    A letter from Hilary after 10 days. He is still at Nicosia, still on security, at which they are still unsuccessful! He said they seem young and delicate and inexperienced besides the paratroopers.
    Petrol rationing looms ahead. There are over 30 ships sunk in the canal! Heard from Norman Smith at Oriel. He had been a leading member of the U.N.O. society and so, he said, had no choice but to oppose the government. Oxford a bad place to be as emotions so high.
 
Wednesday, Nov 14th
    It turned very cold and Mary's cold was so bad we stayed in the flat. After supper I finished reading Linklater's Dark of Summer, read aloud. It read aloud well and we both enjoyed it very much. Yesterday there was no heating in Heelas to save oil, by which it is now heated - or would be. 
 
Saturday, Nov 17th
     Still wondering why we stopped when we did on Nov 6th. The decision was certainly not taken on  military or naval grounds! We still have no airfields in Egypt which can take jet fighters. The canal, three quarters of which we don't hold, is blocked. The number of sunken ships has risen from 27 to 49. There seem to be three possible explanations: i) a political revolt among Conservative MPs - unlikely. ii) a threat of Russian intervention by air iii) great pressure from the U.S.
 
Tuesday, Nov 20th
    Petrol rationing to start on  Dec 17th - 200 miles a month basic ration for private motorists. This said to be more than war time ration, but as far as I can see it will only take me to Mary and back twice a week with very little left over.
    Eden's health has cracked up. He is suffering from over strain and must rest. Poor devil, I wonder he has kept going as long as he has.     
    Very few Hungarians are at work in Budapest and coal and food is running out. 
 
Thursday, Nov 22nd
    Two staff and secretary away. Suggested one man should do dinner today instead of tomorrow, but said quite impossible, so did it myself. It was quite easy and pleasant. What a fuss!
    Had my hair cut at 3.30. The barber said we were in a mess and I agreed with him.  The Egyptians are trying to stir up trouble in Port Said. We are no nearer getting the canal cleared. As The Times says, the U.N.O. adopts two standards, one for us and one for the Soviet. Mr Butler, the acting P.M., said about half the blockships are in our part and we have the best kit and tackle for clearing the rest. The opposition said their piece about the U.N.O, but the French foreign minister was nearer the mark when he told the Assembly that the existence of the organization was at stake if it will only act against its supporters - straining at the gnat and swallowing the camel.
    First white frost this winter, 12° of frost.
 
Saturday, Nov 24th
    Still bitterly cold. Nora felt shivery so went to be after lunch for the rest of the day. Phyllis rang up and asked for Nora, but as she had just gone to bed I told her she had flu. Phyllis said she had something worse than flu, but wouldn't say what. I knew Nora, given any encouragement, would have gone down there or her up here, but she's so bossy and such a scrounger of other people's services that I did not feel like "a touch" and was selfish.     
 
Sunday, Nov 25th
    The Observer still attacking the government with unabated energy, a new government needed which has "regained the confidence of our friends and allies." It denies that there was a plan by Russia to intervene when Israel attacked Egypt, and so denies that our intervention was the lesser of two evils. It does think however that what stopped us at El Cantra on Nov 6th was an urgent warning from Eisenhower that if we went on the Russians were likely to intervene and America would not be responsible for the consequences if they did.
    It seems possible that the original plan for the French was to use Israel, with substantial help from them, to knock out Nasser. This they revealed to us at the meeting in Paris on October 16th. The government, without letting the Israelis know what they were doing, decided to come in on their own account. The "collusion" was between France and Israel, we cashed in on it - or hoped to.
 
Monday, Nov 26th
    This has been a very bad weekend. Phyllis is ill and in a state in case she has to go into hospital, and then on top of this on the evening before Wilk was to go into hospital, she rings up to say Ioan had died of a heart attack at Leiston.
    I am sorry. He was a delightful man and a great refreshment to meet with his individual outlook on things. We had known his heart was bad for a long time, probably a result of his flying during the war. This is the second time Marjorie has lost a lover, the first about a year after we came here when Fyfe, the maths master, was drowned off the Welsh coast, and now Ioan. It's bad. Ioan came to the school in 1948. I little thought that Wilk would outlive him.
    The telephone company is cutting off the telephone on Dec 21st. With its aid it is wonderful how the news gets round. I rang up Cherry to tell the news of Ioan's death and within the hour I had calls from Attrill and Marjorie Hunter.    
    America voted for the U.N. Assembly resolution on withdrawal, so keeping up the moral ban on France and ourselves, and by dragging her feet on the supply of oil to Europe, she is, in effect, applying the sanctions to us that she refused to apply to Egypt when the canal was seized. For 10 years we have tried to operate with the U.N. under American membership and this is what we get.
    A correspondent who has got out of Egypt says that in a week or two they will be out of oil. They cannot get any out of Iraq because their buddies in Syria have blown up the pipeline and they have blocked the canal themselves. He says in spite of the relentless propaganda of the radio, Cairo is a city of fear and anxiety. They cannot conceal the disasters of the defeat in Sinai, the destruction of the air force, the battered remains of which are still on the airfields, and the running out of oil, without which there will be no electricity and transport and which people use to cook  
 
Tuesday, Nov 27th
    A letter from Hilary this morning. They are moving to Limassol and he seems very disgruntled. He was asked by his company commander whether he was qualifying for a tramp as his water bottle [cover] had a tear in it. Sent off my Plato and Moorhead's Gallipoli to him.
    Some comment on the fact that Eisenhower was too busy playing golf to see either the Australian or the English minister. However he did make some comments about the solidity of NATO to offset what's happened at the U.N.O.
 
Thursday, Nov 29th
     The usual morning Prize Day chores. Had a solitary lunch, changed and drove down to the Town Hall. Mary had given me a new white handkerchief for the occasion. The hall was full. Mary had taken a half day off and sat at the back. Her first prize day; my last! Used an old speech of 1948, slightly refurbished! Miss Major, Principal of St Hilda's, a grim woman of no charm and hardly a smile, made quite a good speech free of moralizing. Lady Hambleden came, so I put her in the front row next the chairman. She sat absolutely upright and completely motionless, except her eyes, which moved and took in everything; She was dressed well with a turban-like hat, and, as you looked at her, you felt that with her beautifully modelled face and aquiline nose she might have belonged to any historical period and would have fitted any historical costume. Of the other women governors the less said the better.
    The only other snag in the ceremony was poor Mr Cook, who had been asked to move the vote of thanks to Miss Major. He was overcome with logorrhea and spoke for as long as Miss Major or myself - on television, homework, the importance of sharing a warm room to work in etc etc. Mrs Cook, who had warned him not to be long winded, sat in the front row of the hall obviously growing more and more uncomfortable as he went on and on. In the end it took one hour 15 minutes over all. 
    I went out to the car to find Mary. We drove back to the flat and discussed the notables, Tom Luker, Lady Hambleden, Mrs Griggs, Mr Cook (whom Mary regarded as a kind of buffoon) and what staff were visible. I was glad Mary had been able to see me in my natural habitat. 
    It was a sad day for Wilk as Ioan was cremated at Ipswich. He had not made his will so hs books, paintings and writings belong to his sister.and anything the Wilk wants to keep she has to ask for.
    [Editor: Ioan owned a bull-nosed Bentley with no self-starter. It was started, as was still quite normal at that date, by turning the engine over with a handle. I was told, either by Wilkon or by my parents, I presume, that Ioan died when cranking the Bentley on that morning, but whether this true or not I do not know]
 
Extracts from the Headmaster's report, 1956
    - From the middle ages we have inherited the institutions of university and college. From these centuries, too, the traditional connection between grammar school, college and university. They all three sprang from the same high social purpose - "that all good learning might flourish and abound." From this grammar school we have at present four old boys teaching at universities - Oxford (law), London (geography), Birmingham (pathology) and Reading (physics). In addition we have this link with two Oxford colleges, Balliol and St Hilda's..... and we are delighted to welcome the Principal of the College. 
    - July sees us going down to St Mary's for the Periam service and sermon. The school files by the tomb of Lady Elizabeth Periam, who when he school was united  to the Grammar School in 1778, became one of our founders and has this year provided us, posthumously so to speak, with some nice new tables for the library.
    - Mrs Brackston has played hockey for England and Miss Wilkinson has had published the first volume of her book "Biology for the Young Citizen" published 
    - We want to take advantage of the much greater flexibility of the new General Certificate of Education as compared to the old school leaving certificate. The new certificate with its greater freedom and higher standard can be related to the individual boy or girl who wants to qualify for university entrance or preliminary examinations of the numerous professional bodies. It should not be treated a school leaving certificate, but as a qualifying certificate to a particular career, and there is no reason why a boy or girl in the fifth form should not by-pass some subjects at the fifth form level altogether. The educational value of a subject does not depend on whether the subject is examined or not examined, but on the content of the subject itself and how it is taught, as we see for example in the case of Religious Instruction or Literature and Music. 
 
December. Dr Heath. French girl in trousers! Henley to Exeter in 12 hours: Christmas at Exton. Hilary in Limassol
 
Saturday, Dec 1st
     A day out with Cyril and Kay in their Ford Consul. Had a very good picnic provided by Kay in Windsor Park. The Consul not all jam. Its heater made it stuffy and couldn't open windows because Cyril did not like draughts. It also had a wireless, which was a mixed blessing.
    Some plain speaking from Lord Hailsham. The U.N. must not degenerate into an instrument of racial spite, or a means by which stronger nations can strangle a smaller nation to death, or a small nation exploit a larger nation's reluctance to use force against it. We are ahead of America not behind it. We do not wish to hear moral lectures from those whose moral weakness and incapacity to see the facts was the precipitating factor in the present crisis. Good. Time someone spoke up for England.
 
Sunday, Dec 2nd
    Had Wilk up to lunch. I went down to fetch her at The Pod and took down a parcel that had arrived. It was a book, Lucky Jim,  which Ioan's sister had forwarded and contained a note from him  written on the day he died. In it he said she might be glad to have a funny book "in a certain eventuality". I think it is clear he realized his heart was very bad. He had written to her before, "The curtains of fatigue are closing round me". 
 
Tuesday, Dec 4th
    Petrol to go up to 1/5. They have been only letting you have a gallon at a time and garages have a written notice outside "Regular customers only". I got one gallon today, though I dare say now the price has risen they may be a bit more generous. 
 
Wednesday, Dec 5th
    Seating choirs with aid of whistle and long stick!
 
Thursday, Dec 6th
    The choirs went off very well, though Brind had a stomach upset and was very shaky.
 
Sunday, Dec 9th
    Donald Heath came up to coffee. He had been to see the Wilk yesterday afternoon. Said these parathyroid glands difficult to find and there might be three or four of them, and then how to know which had the tumour on it! He was very smartly dressed and had bought himself a Swedish hat at the cardiological conference he attended in Stockholm, where he read a paper. Altogether he seemed much jollier and more human. He even remarked he enjoyed coming to see me. He said the medical school like the medieval field system: the first year wild oats, the second year fallow and the third year ploughed!
 
Tuesday, Dec 11th
    To my great joy was able to pick some little sprigs of Chimonanthus in flower - never known it possible before Christmas  or more often the first week of January.
    The Germans terribly indignant because we have asked them to pay more for our troops. They, having promised 12 divisions, have at the moment none at all except on paper. We have five in B.A.O.R. [British Army on the Rhine], but say if no contribution will have to withdraw some.
    N.A.TO. meeting which Mr Dulles attends and say more consultation necessary. M. Pineau, French P.M., reported to have replied that he didn't known Egypt was in N.A.T.O. area.
 
Saturday, Dec 15th
    Went off with Cyril and Kay to visit Stoke Charity near Winchester, a delightful, unrestored 12th century church standing by itself in a field above a tributary of the Test. We got back to tea and I returned to the Prefects' Party.  Nora was ill and did not come. I stayed to the supper and play, 6 - 8, and then looked in occasionally, but thought the heat, dust and noise worse than ever.
 
Monday, Dec 17th
    Staff meeting. Let Clem Clifford talk much about senior boys at the beginning to save time at the end. Lasted about 1 hour 10 minutes.
    Hilary now moved to Limassol and likes the camp better than Nicosia. From your bed you can see the sea.
 
Wednesday, Dec 19th
    The Junior Carols yesterday and Senior Carols today - reflected that this my last school carol service but did not feel particularly sorry or particularly moved by this reflection. 
 
Thursday, Dec 20th
    I spent a good deal of time taking forms for Mrs Paterson to avoid riots, then to tea with Cherry. She gave me a book of Gardens. I was about to give her a Linklater when she said she did not like him, and gave her soap instead!
 
Friday, Dec 21st
    Broke up. Just managed to the prevent appearance of a dirty looking French girl in trousers at prayers by collaring her hostess on the way in - anything to make the last assembly more undignified! However everything went off quietly.
 
Saturday, Dec 22nd
    Had a taxi 10.45; Reading 11.30, train for Swindon jammed to the windows 12.0. Stood in corridor and arrived Swindon 1.0. Slow train to Bristol, carriage to ourselves [Diarist and Nora], ate lunch, soup, sausages and fruit. Bristol trains an hour or two late. Presently Exeter train came in and we had a compartment with two other people. It waited in the station half an hour and started at 5.0. At 6.0 it reached Taunton, left soon, climbed the bank and was going all out down the Even valley when without any apparent reason it stopped. Foggy, but nothing dense. Here we sat for a solid hour, 6.30 - 7.30. On again, only to stop again after a mile or two. About 8.30 the guard came round and said a coupling had broken on a train and it had had to be shunted off the line. Finally after a long wait outside the station we arrived at Exeter at 9.10. Missed the 9.30 at Queen Street, waited for the 10.15. This started at 10.30. We finally reached Studley, cold and with splitting headaches, 12 hours and 15 minutes after we left Henley. Moral: never travel at Christmas. 
 
Sunday, Dec 23rd
    Woke up in Maud's best bed with Nora in a higher bed beside it. Was told by Maud, who brought in a cup of tea for Nora, that she should have been in the low bed. Periwinkles lout and honeysuckle covered in bloom in the garden
 
Monday, Dec 24th
    Into Exeter to get fruit, wine and a Fuller's cake for Maud. Overcast, grey, inclined to rain. Dog-walked in the afternoon. Life was easier here as Maud had a new lavatory cistern which actually did its work efficiently. Her neighbour, called by Maud the Read woman, has a bed at night, but Maud is so rude I wonder she likes to, but she is deaf, so things even out I suppose!
 
Christmas Day
    Breakfast, and after breakfast presents. Maud gave me a pair of socks, N a book token, and Molly sent a slim and flexible carving knife, as I l must have admired hers in the summer. We gave Maud a tin of biscuits with birds on. The weather was fearful. It blew and rained hard all day. Maud had a taxi to the church in the morning for the late celebration, but otherwise it was impossible to go out all day. Even the dog was reluctant to go in the garden to relieve itself!
    For the first time for 16 years we were back on the turkey standard. He had been cooking since 9.30 and had two sorts of stuffing, fore and aft, chestnut and sausage meat; bread sauce as well. With this we had mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and a nice bottle of Graves I had bought in Exmouth. This was followed by Christmas pudding, brought from Henley by Nora, and a quarter of Devonshire cream. 
    This took about an hour. Then we washed up and tuned in for the last half hour of  of the Christmas programme. They were going round the Commonwealth and ended up with the Duke of Edinburgh from the Britannia in the South Seas. He was almost unintelligible. Then the Queen. Her timing and pauses had been carefully rehearsed and she came over well. Wondered where we should be keeping Christmas next year!
    My stomach not being outsize or even of average capacity, I felt very sleepy and uneasy in the afternoon, but I managed to eat a piece of Fuller's cake for tea. We drank to "absent friends" at dinner and I thought of Hilary in his tent at Limassol; of Mary in Oxford with here parents; of Con in her rest cure home in Sussex; of Lettie in Birmingham; of Molly in the cowsheds at Holly Bush.
   
Boxing Day
    A quiet morning and an early lunch and then by bus for a totter on the front. We sat in a shelter and were quite warmed by the sun.
Maud is so old that she makes you feel old yourself and felt on the front at Exmouth that I was an aged gent ripe for retirement. It sounded on the news tonight as if we had had the best of the weather - the heaviest snowfall of the century in Birmingham.
 
Thursday, Dec 27th
    We started off by 9.45 bus to Exeter. We were 1 1/4 hours late at Reading and reached home by bus about 4.30. The worst of going away at Christmas is returning to a house which has had no heat in it over the holiday. We turned on everything, but impossible to get the heat up much.
 
Saturday, Dec 29th
    A letter from Hilary. The duty officer's eyes looked like poached eggs boiled in blood! 
    Met Mary on Reading station and up to a new hotel, Queensway, Princes Garden, where we had a nice room on the third floor for 35/- B & B. To the Festival Hall to see José Greco and his Spanish dancers. Too much of the same kind of dancing. Some very erotic numbers. It seems as long as they don't actually touch and the woman has a long dress on, they can suggest as much as they like. 
  
Sunday, Dec 30th
    Breakfast in bed, which was a great luxury at no extra charge. Got up about eleven and by bus to see Epstein's Mother and Child in Cavendish Square. Then to the Marble Halls. Here everything on the first floor has been reconstructed and we had a delightful meal in "the 7 Star". We had roast rib of beef, potatoes in jackets with butter and a delicious continental salad, followed by a superb confection called a Nuttie. It was expensive, but satisfactory because you were getting real value and enjoyment. Caught the 4.45 to Reading after a lovely weeked. It was expensive, but as I said to Mary, we must enjoy our money while we have a little for next year we shall probably have none!
 
Monday, Dec 31st
    A letter from Con. "Is this your year of retirement and remarriage? I so often wonder what you are going to do in the way of a job. Whatever it is I wish you good fortune."
    We end the year with petrol rationing again, but are told in the news tonight that the canal will be open again by May.
    In his tent in Limassol Hilary sits looking at a wall plastered with photographs of wanted men and maps with pins for every incident of the last few months - red for death, yellow for sabotage, black for a bomb.
 
 

Saturday 15 January 2011

1956 July - Sept

Sunday, July 1st
    Made ten beds, heaved mattresses, put up camp and safari beds, pitched tent, obtained chairs and crockery. This took all morning without a stop. Resolved this my last eight, in future only newspaper correspondent for bed and breakfast! The boys, from Bryanston, arrived about 5 - three in my room, 4 in big room, 2 in tent, Mr Dingle, master in charge, a Cambridge blue and Lady Margaret Boat Club, in Hilary's room. Mr Dingle brought them all in a brake and had them in excellent order.

Monday, July 2nd
    Felt a bit less exhausted. I got two dumb girls from 5w to help Nora with supper. They came in their best dresses, hoping to make contact with the Adonisses, but they went before the boys came back from tea! Nora gave them what she thought was a huge leg of lamb, but only the bone came out! I washed up afterwards and the boys dried. They row against St Edwards on Wednesday and my guess is they will be beaten.

Tuesday, July 3rd
    Only four staff away this morning! Two back by lunch, so I decided to spend the afternoon at the flat to avoid Brigadier coming to inspect the Cadets. Somehow I felt past brigadiers! I got back in time to carve the tongue and see that the table was properly laid by the dumb chums who were helping out. Boys asked by Nora to walk in stockinged feet and last night were as quiet as mice.

Wednesday, July 4th
    Bryanston beat St Edward's handsomely. Mary and I saw them from the Fawley boathouse. It was windy and most unpleasant, muggy, but cold in semi-gale. 

Thursday, July 5th
    Went to West Wycombe to give talk to American officers' wives at air base.  When I got back I found Bryanston had beaten King's Canterbury, but tomorrow had to row against Eton - poor chaps. They were very cheerful. Anyway they will now stay to after breakfast on Sunday.     

Friday, July 6th
    Invigilated in morning as GCE 'O' was on during Regatta. Eton won by 1 1/3rd lengths.

Saturday, July 7th
    For the first time for 22 years I saw the fireworks. Ioan asked me to go up the Mount with him and Marjorie. The place swarmed with cars parked everywhere and crawling in long queues. Everyone was making for the fair and the Berkshire bank, but when we toiled up the Mount we found only a handful of people.The display began punctually at 10.15 with a loud explosion and ended promptly at 10.45 with another. I love fireworks and it was a long time since I had seen any. I suppose I must have recollections of those at the White City when I was about 11 or 12. Coming home, I pointed a glow worm out to Wilk. She got down on all fours, stuck her behind in the air and with aid of an electric torch put her face about an inch from the ground to announce in a loud voice to some passers by 'They're copulating!"

Sunday, July 8th
    The boys and Mr Dingle packed up and got off in their Bedford truck promptly at 11.0. They were taken to the fair last night but came back in good order at midnight with no excessive noise. Mr Dingle a good chap - what he says goes! We took £69 so when the bills are paid will be about £50 to divide. But think, though the money will be useful to pay for the car, it's my last eight!

Monday, July 9th
    We began cleaning up the house. Grisly!.

Tuesday July 10th
    Took the Sixth form, 16 available out of 26, to Osterly. It was very nice. Sat them down on the great steps (Cherry at the top against an ionic column) and gave them a second talk, following one at the school in the morning, on the magnificent and magnanimous men of the C18th. Then they went inside. Cherry and I walked round the circuit of the park and then had tea. As it was her birthday we each had a slice of iced cake! Left at 12.30, back at 5.30. A lovely trip.

Saturday, July 14th
    A cold damp day. Phyllis came up, but she did not seem as tired by the Regatta as Nora. She had taken to the gin bottle while the crew were there, even so had fainted twice and almost given up. She has now started divorce proceedings. The papers had not been served on James, who was down today. He will get a nice surprize.  

Monday, July 16th
    The Sixth went to conference at St John's with Clem in charge [University Institute of Education, "Men against Society"]. I had intended to go over in the afternoon, but took Cherry out to tea instead as she seemed annoyed and fed up. 

Tuesday, July 17th
     Met Mary his evening with some raspberries and tinned milk. We talked about our difficult future. I pointed out that if this heart condition of mine got worse, I might be unable to take a new job, but able to keep ticking over at Henley. That raised the question of Nora's application for a job at Guildford. So far I had not told her about the diagnosis and wondered whether to before Guildford. Mary was disappointed naturally enough that we might not be able to do anything before 1959 ( if we survive)! Whichever way you look, it's a clotted problem!
 
Thursday, July 19th
    End of term staff meeting lasted a little over an hour, which I thought good going. My queer sixth former, Rada Barnicott, is a nuisance. "Mum", who always informs me she is an Oxford graduate, wants the girl to do history, but in my opinion the girl herself is not really interested in history as a subject at all. This came out when I asked her to write an account of Osterly Park.
    The long-awaited phone call from Hilary arrived tonight. He crossed today and gets 48 hours leave tomorrow evening. His gruff voice unmistakable on the telephone from Brentwood, where he said the barracks are poor, but they will not be there long if they are to sail at the end of August.

Friday, July 20th
    Went over to tailor at teatime and noticed a flowered brocade waistcoat on the counter. A customer had ordered six! He was slightly batty. Asked if he was a bachelor, he said he was only 24 and son of an eminent surgeon. Young Walker! The son or Mr Walker, who took out my appendix at Dunedin.
    On my return was met by Hilary in his best civilian suit. Was relieved to see he had kept it carefully. He has not stoutened or coarsened and his hair was not unduly cropped. He said he was glad to be home. We had a bottle of Bordeaux to celebrate.

Saturday, July 21st
    Shopped with Hilary in the morning and saw the Saturday eccentrics. After lunch to Cherry, sat in her room till 3.30. The poor woman has no luck. A few weeks ago her sister had a baby. She heard this morning that she had to be taken to a mental hospital to have shock treatment. 
    Phyllis came to dinner. She was at her last gasp and liable to burst into tears if the little boys proved troublesome. 

Sunday, July 22nd
    Ioan came to lunch. He seemed rather down. He asked Hilary what he liked least in the army, dumb company, lack of privacy and so on. He replied "useless work because they must be kept employed and there was no useful work to be done. Tables scrubbed and then re-scrubbed because there was an indelible ink spot." He said he found the semi-literate rather amusing, which is more than I should.

Monday, July 23rd
    Nora went after a part-time job at Guildford, which she got - two sessions on Thursdays and Fridays, not to begin however till a social worker has been appointed in the autumn.
    Went to see Hartley. Said I might tick over for 10 or 15 years! Told me to go on with the pills and to come and see him in September.

Tuesday, July 24th
    Went over to Mary. It was a very hot day and we could lie on the bed baked, which was very delightful. Told Mary she looked like a Renoir, as indeed she did!

Wednesday, July 25th
    The Governors met to debate the report. As usual they were pretty fatuous. I had to explain to Pullein-Thompson your couldn't "set" maths with one teacher, but old Denham was very friendly and said some nice things. Tom Luker is a poor chairman on these occasions, he had not enough grip, and I thought he was pretty lukewarm considering what an excellent report it was, but you'll never get any come back from this lot, so why expect it!
    After tea Mr MacCarthy, whom I had invited over to tea, let his hair down. He was married again to a wife of 30 and his two daughters did not like it, so he kept his new wife at Woodstock and maintains his house at Oxford so he can come hoe at weekends. Was it a mistake to have kept them at home after his wife died, would it have been better to send them to boarding schools. I was very touched that he should have confided in me at all.
    Cherry came over later. Said her sister has some lucid intervals.

Friday, July 27th
    The school broke up - but quietly, in fact it was the sedatest end of the summer term that I can remember!

Saturday, July 28th
    While I was shopping I met Ioan. He remarked that he had never known anyone as little changed by the army as Hilary, he must be a very bad soldier!

Sunday, July 29th
    Colonel Nasser, the Egyptian dictator, has declared the canal nationalized, apparently out of pique because, after repeated abuse, the U.S. and ourselves have refused to finance a high dam at Aswan. The Arabs are waiting with some curiosity to see what the west will do. The oil is the trouble. 
      Have just finished The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene. First published in 1940, but I missed it then and never caught up with it since. Like Dombey & Son, it gets you down - all heat, sweat, mosquitoes, flies, beetles, bad teeth, offensive breath and SIN. How that man loves sin and the Devil - he is more of a devil worshipper than a Christian. Lent me by Cherry, who of course thinks it wonderful - the Christian novelist etc.

Thursday, Aug 2nd
    "You will return immediately to barracks on receipt of this." Hilary is recalled. His 3rd Div, based on East Anglia, is to move to Cyprus at the weekend, but I suppose his battalion will hang about at Brentwood for a bit. Anyway Hong Kong will be off till this Suez business is over.
    The Times more bellicose than the M/G. The latter says so far Nasser has not broken the law, but as he has closed the canal for some time to Israeli ships I should think this is doubtful. Anyway having got rid of the canal base he may think like Hitler that he can proceed "step by step" and get away with it. The U.S. is supposed to be advising caution. The French are rabid against Nasser, but have they the troops available if necessary?

Saturday, Aug 4th
    Donald Heath looked in at 10 and stayed to 11.30 a.m. He reports a very high failure rate among finals students in medicine. Not impressed by Birmingham after Sheffield. Says no one knows anyone else. It is far too big and depersonalized, a gigantic sausage machine. He is disappointed that the students, who are after all a highly selected group, are such clock-watchers and have little interest in the subject itself. A man flew over from Turkey to give a lecture and only 14 people turned up, not a student among them. Think what a marvellous thing a college is compared with this redbrick mass university, how lucky undergraduates at Oxford and Cambridge are.
    No hard news today but much speculation. A conference is called in London for August 16th. An Anglo-French plan for the canal will be put forward. If Nasser does not attend or won't accept the plan, the French and ourselves will use force to occupy the canal. There does not seem to be any sign of division in the country or parliament. We have had enough of the Egyptians and are not going to wait until the U.S. moves. If we take military action, it is thought the Russians will support Egypt short of war, which is what the Americans will do on our side. It isn't thought likely they will do more, as no vital interest of theirs is involved..... It is said the American oil interests would not be sorry to see us pushed out of Arabia altogether. 
   The phone rang about 7.20. It was Hilary to say he sails for Cyprus next Friday. It is only a fortnight since he came back from Germany, now he's off to Middle East instead of China!

Sunday,  August 5th
    Hilary arrived on the 12.34, which I met as it was stormy and inclined to rain. We had a bottle of Beaujolais for lunch. In the afternoon I persuaded him to clean his bicycle, which was then hung up on a beam in the garage against his return from the Middle or Far east. After that he had a pre-embarkation bath.

Monday, August Bank Holiday
    A day of heavy showers and thunderstorms. very dull, worked on tile table and letters in the morning, weeded in the afternoon. Nora plunged in gloom, hardly said anything all day till she was going to bed when she asked if I was worried about Hilary. Did I think there would be a war? 
    Rang up Cherry this morning, who has an R.A.F. pilot of some kind occupying the top flat. In the air force, she says, you look at things on a different scale. This chap has his washing done each week in Cyprus because it's cheaper than in Henley!

Tuesday, August 7th  
    We met Hilary at the N.B.L. for dinner. He turned up in civilian clothes hoping he would be able to pack them in his knapsack. His suitcase and big kit bag had gone. We went to see The Waltz of the Toreadors by Jean Anouilh. We had to make the eleven o'clock train from Paddington and I did not want an undignified farewell while running to catch the train. Fortunately we made it in time and he came with us on the tube. We said goodbye in front of the entrance to No. 5 platform. We shook hands. I said, "Well, keep the canal open!" and he replied, "Keep the school running" and walked across the lawn to the metro to Liverpool Street, down which he disappeared. He did not turn and wave. I was reminded of our parting at the stream half way between Long Dene and Penshurst station three years ago. The soldier parting for the crusades - 20th century version!

Wednesday, Aug 8th
    Mary and I set off to see Guildford Cathedral. The nave had risen about 10ft since last year, the great blue carpet was down in front of the high altar, and the white and lovely interior surprized by joy after the stark planes of the exterior brickwork. We essayed the central tower, 150 steps to its present level, but easy going. I was able to do the climb it without any ill effect. Mary went ahead up the staircase and I was overcome with affection and insisted on kissing her frequently.
    I did not get home to about 11.30 to find to my great surprize that Nora had returned from London. Hilary had been kept, which was hardly unexpected, and had arrived so late that she had given him up and missed him by 15 minutes. This had upset her very much. Partings and farewells are difficult anyway. Why make them worse by uncertainty and frustration. 

Thursday, Aug 9th
    An atmosphere of gloom prevailed. Nora says we are sabre rattling and must not do anything to lose the support of world opinion. A fat lot of good that has been to prevent Nasser stopping Israel's shipping.  Hilary leaves barracks tonight at 3.30 a. m. and sails tomorrow on the troopship Dilwara.

Sunday, Aug 12th
    This afternoon Nasser refused to attend the conference, said the canal was Egypt's affair, nothing was further from their minds than interfering with shipping, 200 ships had passed through the canal in the last fortnight, the conference was "collective colonialism.".... I think the idea of forcing a settlement in Egypt is becoming less attractive. We could not control the canal without controlling Egypt and it is doubtful if we could get the oil out of Arabia in  face of Arab sabotage. The Observer says today that we should make it clear we are determined to create a real international authority, pay the dues into the international bank meantime, and say definitely our troops are only there to act if our own shipping is interfered with.

Monday, Aug 13th
    Nora very gloomy, not a smile of any kind and speaks no more than is absolutely necessary, though as soon as the telephone rings she is all charm and chat!   
     Went down to see the Wilk this evening and was rather horrified she seemed so ill, temperature goes up at night and she has a beastly cough. Dr says it is a virus. Can't imagine how she is going to get through the next term, poor dear. Miss Hunter has got so bad she fell out of bed the other night and could not get back. The doctor has carted her off to Battle (what a name!) Hospital in Reading for a fortnight. Nora was trying to persuade her to buy a small house on Gravel Hill with a bathroom on ground floor, but it is not easy. Even when in good health she was a woman who could never make up her mind short of weeks of cogitation and afterthoughts.

Wednesday, Aug 15th
    Mary and I started for Coombe with our tea. Driving home I told her that I had opened a letter to Hilary stating that on the a journey from Dieppe to Newhaven on July 30th he said he had lost his ticket. I had first imagined that some one else had given his name. Would he refund the money? It suddenly dawned on me that he might have skipped over to Dieppe to meet Micheline from Paris. Mary agreed. She pointed out that with passports it would be difficult to use anyone else's name, that it was like Hilary to loose his ticket, that he was short of money, that it would be possible to make the journey in 48 hours from Brentwood and lastly, with much laughter, that if had "a clandestine" his father was in no position to criticize him!

Saturday, Aug 18th
     Picked up Mary in the Bath road at 2.30 and we started off for our holiday. We reached Farringdon for tea and  went to The Fleece at Cirencester for the night. 

Sunday, Aug 19th
    We had a nicely served  breakfast and then left for the Manor House Hotel, Longhope. At about 3 we went back up the road to Holly Bush. We sat chatting in the sitting room and then went out to see the farm - the pigs, the garden, the poultry, the Muscovy drake's trick of catching little bits of cake, demonstrated, of course, buy Ruth, who called him Mr Gregory. We had a very nice tea and left about 4.30. It all seemed to go off very well.
    To The Swan at Hay. We were shown into a dark, gloomy badly lit and scruffy bedroom with a double bed which faced the road. We went out for a stroll after a rather nasty cold supper. No one was about, the place seemed completely deserted, so we went to bed. Then the trouble started. About 11 the charas returned and unloaded the inhabitants outside (they had been to England, where the pubs were open on Sundays!), more and more motorbikes arrived, revved up and tore up and down the road. As the night wore on, the traffic seemed to get heavier and heavier. Downstairs there was a clock which chimed every quarter. Finally in the early hours the cats started up opposite. The bed was unsatisfactory, it sloped inwards and the pillows were impossibly hard. One of our dreaded hotel nights

Monday, Aug 20th
    As soon as Mary awoke, "I am not staying here" I said. We had booked for 10 days, but I did not care. Mary, bless her, got busy with the AA handbook and suggested Clyro or Glastonbury on Wye. At Clyro they advised us to see the Maesllych Arms, Glastonbury. Here we were shown a room with twin beds, light and pleasant, guaranteed quiet with only farm noises, at 9 1/2 guineas. We accepted joyfully. Later Mary discovered that her pink nightdress was missing and we went back to The Swan, but Madame denied all knowledge of it and we were convinced the chamber maid had pinched it. After supper I rang up Molly three times to give her our new address because we had left envelopes with The Swan for forwarding on Mary's mother's letters. It was a slow business through a very rural exchange. Altogether it was a rather difficult day. Mary was upset and wept much when we lay together.

Tuesday, Aug 21st
    We drove to Snodhill Castle, the scene of the Midsummer Picinic in Kilvert's Diary for 1870. Mary had begun to read him with great interest and amusement.  The to Abbey Dore. Here we had lunch by the stream. It was a dull day, but it did not rain. We looked in the Abbey, then drove to Capel-y-ffin, looked in the church and then went up to the monastery where we had a very good tea, more than we needed, in the refectory. We came back by Abergevenny and Talgarth and reached the hotel about 7.10

Wednesday, Aug 22nd
    We both had a good night's sleep and felt much better. Followed the road to Capel-y-ffin from Hay climbing up the side of the Cusop dingle and branching right at the New Forest Farm. The original rough track had been recently mettled right through to the Honddhu valley. The surface was good but it was only wide enough for one car most of the way and rose very steeply. The car struggled on valiantly and fortunately we met nothing. At 1500ft we reached a wide and grassy shelf with many sheep below the Hay Bluff. The car was boiling merrily, so we stopped. I tried one of Hartley's brown pills and then we started to climb up to the top of the ridge by the by a sloping, grassy track. When we reached the top it turned out to be a wide plateau. We had an easy walk along the edge until we reached a point overlooking the Gospel Pass. Here we had lunch. We walked back along the ridge to the top of Hay Bluff, 2219ft. I was jolly pleased to have made it, though I did not notice the brown pills had much effect. We came down in second or first gear most of the way for I doubted, if we met anything coming up, the brakes would stop us. We did meet a car coming up but mercifully the brakes did just hold and the other car managed to drive up on a slight verge and we edged past.

Thursday, Aug 23rd
    Not a very good day so went on an architectural expedition, Bredwardine, Madley, Kilpeck; Grosmint, Skenfirth, castle and church.

Friday Aug 24th
    Up to Clyro Hill, a lovely view, the Black Mountains; Brecon Beacons, the Malverns, May Hill, the Cotswolds. To Glascwm, a charming situation in a deep saucer surrounded by green and purple hills. Lunch by the side of the road, no traffic of any sort while we sat there! To Newchurch, the blue spire and the lonely tree as Kilvert described them - and Emmeline's grave, but who was Emmeline?
    Before we went to bed bed bathed a deux with much laughter, a thing we hadn't done since 1952.

Satuday, Aug 25th
    Mary very frustrated because she wanted to go to the Severn Wild Fowl Trust at Slimbridge. It was 175 miles, too far from here. Her frustration turned to anger and she said I did not want to go because I had seen it; if we did go and it rained I would say it was her fault!  However by evening she had seen that it was a very long drive and agreed it was too far. To Crickhowell by Pont Newydd by the valley road to the reservoir. Up the track to the farm below the church. As we approached we heard a piano playing - it was a delightful surprize. Another mountain encircled coombe. The rain came down in sheets so we had to give up and drive home.

Sunday, Aug 26th
       Stayed in the hotel all morning, read Sunday newspaper. After lunch to Mornington on Wye. A derelict church to which we walked across the garden of Mornington Court, a C16th farm house. While we were having supper, The mother of Mrs Derick's two maids came in to say she was worried because they were out with boys. Mrs D told us the last one she had, had two miscarriqages than had to marry. All to Mary as woman to woman. We liked Mrs D. She was highly coloured and always wore corduroy trousers, but she was extremely competent and a good cook.

Monday, Aug 27th
    A wet, sunless, cold day. We started on Hereford Cathedral, but had to abandon till after lunch when Mary sighted some subscribers.

Tuesday, Aug 28th
    To Clyro and Glascym - our best day so far in this dull, wet and cold August. We left the car above Glascwm and walked up through the heather on the hill. We had lunch in a sheltered grass patch in the heather and watched the sheep butting. Nine hours in the open air, wind and sun. At night we had our first sunset and the river ran gold beneath the early stars.

Wednesday, Aug 29th
     To the Clyro potters and bought a cup and jug. After lunch we climbed up to Mynydd Lysian, 2173ft, but it began to rain and we had to turn back. Mary was seized with a desire to have communion with the with the mountains and rolled in the heather. This climb was one of the high spots of our 1956 holiday and at night we had a tremendous climax

Thursday, Aug 30th
    We reached Molly at 12 for lunch. We had brought a bottle of claret and she had come back from Exton with lobsters! Jolly good. Took Mary to Gloucester with two dozen eggs and a bag of plums, then back to Holly Bush. She wept when we parted. We had had such a successful and lovely holiday in England for the first time since Kent in 1948 - and that was only four days!

Friday, Aug 31st
    Reached Berkely Castle for lunch. It had only recently been opened and everything had been done to make a good job of it. A keep and domestic building round inner Bailey. Not spacious but good good pictures, furniture and a magnificent C14th hall with lovely wooden screen. All through, excellent medieval woodwork, never seen better.

Saturday, Sept 1st
    Bitterly cold N.E. wind. August the coolest since 1924.

Monday, Sept 3rd
    Home, 86 miles. Called in at Hatford and found some small white cyclamen flowering in the grass by Grandfather's grave. I guess they must have been brought by Uncle from the churchyard at Shillingford.

Sunday, Sept 9th
    Two letters from Hilary. He is in a wire perimeter near Nicosia living under very uncomfortable conditions, eating sitting on the ground. They are being employed in "security", but he says the Cypriot police know beforehand which houses they are going to search and the inhabitants usually already have the door open! There is no NAAFI, but they have a char wallah who has made tea for British troops for years and has fetched up here in Cyprus from Pakistan.
    We were listening to the news when Phyllis rang up and Nora had to go down and see her. She has had a great row with James and has failed to get legal aid for a divorce.
    Nasser has rejected entirely the 12-nation plan. Parliament is summoned for Wednesday, so we shall hear shortly what the government intends to do.

Tuesday, Sept 11th
    Second day of term. Got on rather well for new school year, fewer urgent problems than usual. Cherry seemed pretty ghastly, chalk-like, smoking hard, with a nervous gesture of the hand across the mouth. Oh dear! Oh my!
    Suez building up to crisis. Heard today the company has told pilots they can go at the end of the week.

Wednesday, Sept 12th
    Nora went over to Cambridge. Mary came over to tea and stayed the night. Today the great debate on Suez, an occasion! Eden surprised the opposition by telling the house that France, America and ourselves have formed a canal users' association and are going to send ships through the canal without pilots. This seems to be the equivalent of daring Nasser to stop us. The opposition very against the government because they won't rule out the use of force and promise only to act through the U.N.

Saturday, Sept 15th
    Nora very critical of government along M/G lines. When I said her livelihood was at stake, she said her son's life was at stake. Obviouly sees Hilary killed in Egyptian war.
     Took Cherry out to lunch. She had taken so much dope that she couldn't keep awake or understand what I said half the time. A bright prospect with term one week under weigh. She said she couldn't bear seeing me everyday and ought to get another job. Assured me she would not have another break down as last autumn, but shouldn't be surprized if she goes on at this rate. Her sister, poor wretch, is no better and is still having shock treatment and being put into insulin comas.

Sunday, Sept 16th
    The Americans have said they will provide oil to supplement a) what we get through the Syrian pipeline and b) what we can have round the Cape. the plan seems to be to let him stew in his own juice while we go ahead with the lengthy (and probably otiose) job of appealing to the Security Council....
    Mary C rang up tonight to say she wouldn't be coming to school tomorrow. Don't wonder, poor dear,in the state she is in.

 Monday, Sept 17th
        Cherry rang about 6.30 to ask me to go down as "the professionals", i.e. doctors, were unobtainable. She was sitting in a kind of daze in front of the gas fire and seemed hardly able to speak. She said she had sat there all day and done absolutely nothing, she was so depressed. Said she would commit suicide if it wasn't so much trouble to arrange!

Tuesday, Sept 18th
    Cherry came back to school and seemed better 

Friday, Sept 21st
    A letter from Hilary. He is rather more comfortable. They have a marquee and tables to eat off. The camp is in a sandy plain which he believes will flood in the rains. They drive over the mountains to the north [to Kyrenia] to bathe. Harding has inspected them. He refused to go on church parade and nearly got into trouble. The paratroopers are next to them and the French some distance the other side.

Sunday, Sept 23rd
    I lent the field to a meet of archers. Masses of cars turned up and by 2 o'clock the air was full of the impact of arrows on butts. As we looked from the top of the hill, the flights momentarily caught the sun and left glistening streaks. Crecy, Poitiers, Agincourt.
    Phyllis brought the boys up. She likes to be in everything. Nora said last night she uses her as if she were a basin to be sick in; pours out all her troubles and then leaves her till the next vomit!

Monday, Sept 24th
    Nora had a letter from Hilary. He had been on guard at the prison where three Cypriot terrorists were hanged. He said it was ghastly, the tension terrific. Four of his lot, but not himself, had had to dig the graves.

Saturday, Sept 29th
    I set off for Winchester for a reconnaissance, but it was not one of my better days. I got to Reading in good time for the 9.10, but wondered why it was late. Then I realized I was waiting for it on the main platform and it had already gone from the bay - a confusion of platform 1 and platform 4.This cost me a wait of an hour and a half. However I got the trip with the Sixth screwed down, which is something.
    Nora tested Johnnie while I was away and found he was hardly grammar school level - rather a blow to Phyllis. 

Sunday, Sept 30th
    Went over to school this morning and found Hilary's Latin result had arrived. He has passed - hurrah - so pleased, thought this would make it easier to decide what to do next.

1956 April - June

Easter Monday, April 2nd
                     A letter from Mary. « I did enjoy seeing the countryside yesterday, the tidy ploughland and the Downs. It was lovely to have a day away from Reading. I keep you in my heart and think of what we had between us . »
                     I spent the morning digging and did a clear up at the school in the afternoon, where I found Cherry had put forsythia in my room and a copy, in Latin and English, of the Easter Eve ceremonies, Paschal Candle, Holy Fire etc. Please would I read it. I did. It seemed inordinately long !
                     In the afternoon the two boys, Phyllis and the help came up to tea. After tea Johnnie asked to see a picture of the crucifixion. Phyllis told him I had some. After some hesitation I chose Raphael. He looked at it for a long time, then said he wanted to see a picture of the people who crucified him. I could not supply this. « It was very cruel, wasn’t it ? » he said.
                      The boys are different in temperament. Johnnie must be with people all the time. He cannot bear to be alone. Johnnie is much more solitary and perhaps more imaginative ; he is quite happy working out his own fantasies.

Tuesday, April 3rd
   Nora and I took our lunch out to the Ewelme Down. The wind, which had gone round to the west, was blowing hard and bringing cloud, but no rain so far. The whole hillside round "The Lonely Barn"  and the Long Grasses had been sown and rolled. It looked magnificent, Constable at his best, every shade of brown from milk with a dash through café au lait to sepia, as the chalk lay on the surface or the top soil was richer and deeper, and behind the slow curves of the horizon the sky of April. Lovely Oxfordshire!
   Mr Malenkov and 13 cars drove from Brighton to Canterbury on Easter Sunday to have lunch and tea with the Dean. Unfortunately while he was showing them round the cathedral they ran into the Archbishop, who was leaving the choir walking behind a bedesman carrying a cross. As they passed, the Dean bowed, disappointing those to whom it appeared he was about to introduce to his friends. "But", says the M/G, "such processions are never interrupted." Bad show, chaps!

Wednesday, April 4th
   Bad news on the home front. Aunt writes to say Cousin Cyril is about to sail for England and encloses a letter from him. He should be here by May. Nora says he may have a stroke in the Red Sea. Point out he will not be coming that way. He says in the letter he has a new deaf aid. Aunt and he will bawl at each other across the goat rug. He does not realize what he's coming to - Aunt, Rusby, the masturbating dachshund, and the dimwit lodger! Suggest he goes for a coach trip to Scotland and/or Switzerland, if he has the money.

Thursday, April 5th
   Had a letter from the God-directed woman following one I received on Good Friday from her husband asking to have her form next term. Replied to both in same terms and told her I did not wish to continue correspondence. Discovered this evening she had rung up her successor to try to get her to refuse job. Successor said No and hung up. Good for her!
   Went out to lunch at The Lamb at Wallingford with Cherry. She was in a tizzy because I had said I would ring her up on Saturday and had forgotten. On my part I replied that I wanted an affectionate friendship and this did not seem to be her idea; I thought she was still trying to go back on it, and (selfishly I suppose) I had troubles enough on my hands, that Nora was putting the pressure on me to leave and so on, and that I could not do anything that would be a betrayal of Mary.
   I went to Reading and discovered Mary having tea in Jose's. the Manager of the T. B. C. had been down. The branch made a £12 profit last year. However he said they don't generally close them till they have made a loss for three! and this small profit was before the new subscription schemes which involves buying less books for the branches.
   When I got home I found Cherry had sent back all my letters since August and asked me to burn them, or rather she had said she couldn't burn them, but did not want to have to read them, so did not want to have them by her. I burnt them, after Nora had gone to bed, in the kitchen boiler. I did read them through again. They were mostly accounts of what I was doing; they did not make me feel ashamed; they were sincere at the time they were written, but, poor woman, in the bleakness and loneliness of her life she had read more into them than perhaps there was.
 
Saturday, April 7th
   Telephone rang at 9.30. Mary's mother ill in bed and Father left with no food in the house! She was planning to spend the night there, and we were going to Kew tomorrow, so that's all knocked on the head. Nora went off to London on the one o'clock bus and will be away til Monday at 5.45, so I shall see how I get on by myself with Smoky the Cat.
   Con sent N a post card from the south of France but not to me. I am afraid Con is very definitely not batting on my side now. As Nora has gone to spend the weekend with Rita, I wonder if the she will tell her and Ken about the project for building up a job in Cambridge and leaving me here. That'll be a surprize!
   Had a letter from Hilary. He gave an amusing account of a conversation he had had with an English major, who assumed he was a subaltern, in the early hours of the morning at a German café when he ought to have been in  barracks. (Editor: in a bar which was out of bound to "other ranks").
   
Monday, April 9th
   Went over to lunch with Mary. Now that she has only one assistant she has only 45 minutes for lunch. Her mother seems to have collapsed on Wednesday after burning herself out looking after her father. The doctor however does not think there is anything radically wrong with her except exhaustion.
   Nora came back at 4.45 and phoned me from the Market Place, and pretty cross because I was not there.

Wednesday, April 11th  
   Bryanston School rowing master is enquiring about house for eights week, but he wants an evening meal as well as breakfast. Lily, the Irish help, will oblige, so now Nora thinks she will do an evening meal. Only hope she does not burn herself out.
   Mary not going home, so decided to go to Clivedon, and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thursday, April 12th
   Molly came out to greet me, looking very old, thin and grey, the skin on her neck sagging badly and her eyes tired. I gave her my presents, a hayfork (which Ruth immediately appropriated), a leg of lamb, two jars of honey, and a big clump of snowdrops. The last was hardly a bone fide gift for I wanted, if I left Henley, to keep some snowdrop plants to give to Mary in January and March, the flowers which are the symbol of our love. I was able to plant them in the corner of the wall on the left as you enter the front garden. I hope they will do in the colder and harsher world of Gloucestershire.
   The water situation was acute. Gravitation  was providing none; it had to be hauled from the parish well on the main road or pumped in the yard well. The latter was 60ft deep and had 25ft of water in it, but was unconnected with the house; we could neither bath, wash nor flush!

Friday, April 13th
   Molly and Ruth went in to Gloucester to see the specialist. I was not invited! I stayed behind and wrote to Mary and Cherry. They arrived back very late for lunch. Apparently "farmer's lung" is a new disease. The doctor had taken the plates to a conference, but those present were by no means agreed on the diagnosis. The view was that time would show whether on exposure to hay it recurred; if it did, he suggested it might be best to give up farming - poor Molly, how disappointing. At present it is on the mend. One lung has cleared up, but there is still trouble in the other one.
   After lunch Ruth went in to Cheltenham to her mother and sister in the nursing home. Molly and I sat on either side of the fire - Molly very solemn, not to say gloomy. I told her about my plans for leaving Henley in 1957, Nora's idea of going to Cambridge and the problem of Hilary's university career. It was a difficult conversation but I thought it went off fairly well. Molly is now so grim and middle aged that it is difficult to know whether she is simply sad in herself, or disapproving on moral and religious grounds.

Saturday, April 14th
   It was now raining steadily, cold and grey. However as it seemed the only opportunity of getting to Hay-on-Wye, which I wished to prospect as a possible holiday centre for the Black Mountains, I started off. At Clyro I inspected the hideous Victorian church. It contained a badly lettered granite slab to say that R. F. Kilvert, "the diarist", had been curate there. Hay was a grim little stone town, made less inviting by the cold and rain. Bredwardine Church, where Kilvert was rector and where he was buried, is good after Clyro. It is built of the local red sandstone and had a stone seat under an ancient yew in the church yard looking down an avenue gay with daffodils and bearing the inscription "In memory of Francis Kilvert". I took two white violets from near his grave. What pleasure his Diary has given me!

Wednesday, April 18th
   Found a letter from the N.U.T. about the batty Mrs Eastland. They wanted to come and see me that Wednesday. She had apparently been up at the school on Tuesday morning to see me. Just as well I was away.
   Gave a talk on National Trust to Cockpole Green Women's Institute. The talk was, I hope, all right, but the local colonel had brought up his magic lantern to show the slides, which were barely perceptible. The colonel was a know-all who contradicted me in front of the ladies,  which was ill mannered. He was also wrong. Not a very profitable afternoon.
   Redeemed however by a tea at home where I met the new psychiatirst, Dr Thompson, a delightful white haired leonine man of about 60, who told tales of Hitler's and Himmler's astrologers. Himmler's was considered better as he had a degree - and decided whether the auspices were favourable by measuring the growth of onions. In 1940 the onions were definitely against invasion! As he was leaving he remarked that he had been at the Nuremberg Trial.

Thursday, April 19th
   The G. D. woman made a scene with Miss Owen in front of the children as Miss O had been given her children. Just before school started, she sent up a note by the secretary to say I had no doubt had second thoughts and decided to give her back her form. I hadn't, and sent for her and told her so very plainly indeed. I thought she was going for me, but she didn't in the end!
   In the midst of all this fracas, the curate turned up to say he had skidded in the holidays, landed upside down in the ditch and smashed up his car. Cars more trouble for Cherry, had had a crash as well and broken her passenger's ribs and put paid to her Austin 12.

Friday, April 20th
   The G. D. woman now says she proposed to ask for a transfer. Told her she could if she liked, though when rang up the office found this was impossible in Oxfordshire. Kept Tom Luker, the chairman of governors, informed.
   
Saturday, April 21st
   Got a shock today! Went over to Aunt with Nora and found her in bed with all the curtains drawn and Cousin Cyril, yesterday landed from Southampton, sitting on the bed. He was rather wizened and very deaf in spite of an aid. He appeared to have two main interests, food (4 kinds of marmalade and numerous cheeses on Union Castle Line) and money - he asked the price of everything, and of course I did not know!
   Aunt was like something out of Voltaire or Dickens, a pre-tomb or mausoleum like state of existence. We suggested that if the two sets of curtains were drawn and the sun allowed to penetrate, it might conceivably bring warmth, but Aunt replied that if she had the sun it might get too hot!

Sunday, April 22nd
   A man rang up and said his little girl in 1d had been interfered with by a boy in the Fifth who had invited her up to his bedroom in Peppard to see his stamps. Said it was primarily a matter between parents, but was informed that on Friday the boy had been describing his exploits to the 5th form girls, who had teased the 1st former. More trouble for Monday.

Monday, April 23rd, St George's Day, Shakespeare's birthday
   Had "the Queen, O God, to thee her heart upraiseth" and the National Anthem. Then Mrs C interviewed the girl. The boy had put his arm around her waist and tried to kiss her. Saw the boy, he hastened to inform me that his intentions were not immoral, and I don't think they were. A
silly ass. Told him next time to choose some one as old as himself and be careful he did not get his face smacked!
   The G.D.W. did not put in an appearance. The staff room was all carefree and jolly today and no sense of strain at the beginning of term.
   The Wilk informed that she missed Bulganin and Krusch. as they drove through Henley on Saturday en route for Oxford past her very door. When they got to Oxford a crowd of undergraduates chanted "Poor old Joe" and let off a monster firework.

Wednesday, April 25th
   Miss Loader told me the Modern School governors called for interview a Miss Smith from Kingston. They were a little bit taken aback when in  walked a Negress from Jamaica!
   Mary had felt too ill to collect her groceries from the pleasant Mrs T on Castle Hill so I called for them. Mrs T enquired how she was; "She's such a sweet girl and I am so fond of her"; I could have said "So am I", but thought silence more discreet.
   B & K were invited to a dinner by the parliamentary Labour Party. They were asked what had happened to the imprisoned social democrats in Russia and the satellites. Kruscheff got very angry. So did some of his audience when he began to state that Russia fought Hitler unaided!

Saturday, April 28th
   Cyril arrives with importable suitcase, barely portable grip, panama hat and various parcels, including two books for me - "You like books?" - and grapes for Nora. He calls her Mona, for this has not registered. We have tea and sit, have supper and sit. He makes various statements of which i disapprove strongly, but he can't hear what I say anyway. He also has the semi-educated approach to facts. Why argue about facts and waste time when you can look them up in 30 secs in a reference book.

Sunday, April 29th
   Feel low and very fed up with Cyril and all colonials who come home and plant themselves on you when you have nothing in common with them and have not seen them for 40 years and don't mind you haven't. He smokes almost continuously and likes the drawing room heated with oil. However Nora come to the rescue and takes his case history most of morning - Gussie and Aunt Beattie, early poverty, strict upbringing, etc, including treatment of younger brother in mental hospital. Take him for a drive after lunch. Shillingford Bridge Hotel for tea. Lawns and river very pleasant, have to pretend it is not my first visit. He has an alarming habit of going round the corner of buildings to pee, as he does in hotel, and also a rather peculiar custom of apologizing for audible farts and belches - an ancient colonial custom perhaps.

Monday, April 30th
   Cyril goes off by early train for Gloucester. Should have washed up up, but diverted by group of boys on bank below house obviously looking at something contraband. When staff come by they break up but continue down on cricket field. Send for one boy and ask "Nudes or jokes?" Says they are pin-up girls he found in bus. Ask to see them. They are, some in (?) belts, some showing breasts. Say I don't want them in school or shown to juniors or girls. Find these boys really rather disarming.

Tuesday, May 1st
   A warm May day. Cold responding to treatment. In p.m., interview four candidates, 2 men and 2 women, for English job. One man, a jumpy, spotty individual, ex-Kings Cambridge via Middlesborough, quite impossible, second man a powerful smooth type, too high-voltage for Mary C, committee liked him, I didn't much - then the women, a difficult choice; played for safety and chose a plain Jane, abominably dressed, from Lancashire, slight accent, but pleasant voice, instead of small woman from L.M.H., clever, more cultured, but a poor report from H.M.

Wednesday, May 2nd
   Nora went off to Cambridge. Drove her to the station at 7.30. Then on going to school locked myself out of the house. I was just climbing in through the scullery window when the postman arrived! In the afternoon I went down to the sports heats. I was standing watching the long jump when I saw Mary come out on the terrace. I waved to her - all in the public view! After tea we went to bed where we stayed to about seven. Drove her to the flat for supper. Mary extremely amused by Cousin Cyril's lack of training.

Tuesday, May 3rd
   Got at last four men short-listed from the numerous art applications. Some funny things among the letters - "I have specialized in thumb pots, slips and small thrown objects." Ink bombs?! "I have taught pottery to adults" - and had been most useful at the old people's club. Nora said she heard this as "adultery to pots." The Vicar wrote a testimonial for one man in the middle of which he said that his wife was a trained chiropodist
   Rang up Dorrell (at Oxford Education Office). He had seen G.D.W. on Tuesday and advised her to apologize and come back to work, but of course she won't. Meanwhile I can't make another appointment. It is now a fortnight she has been on strike.

Sunday, May 6th
   A busy day and almost over by the time I sit down to write my diary. In garden in morning cutting grass and doing bees. In afternoon washing up, reading and studying newspaper. After tea allotment. Nora says I have not invited any of my friends, but when have I had time without giving up my weekends, which are fully taken up with things I'd much rather do. Visits involve so much sitting and talking and doing nothing while the grass grows.
   Reading life of Victor Hugo. He had a lot of trouble with women in his life. He had a wife, a permanent mistress and a vast host of semi-permaments and purely temporary. He wrote these marvellous poems and letters to his mistress, but got her on the cheap as secretarial help, made her account for every penny she spent and took her for a holiday once a year. How French, say I. He also kept a diary!

Prayer written by Hugo for Juliette Drouet:
   O God, let us live together for ever. May she be fulfilled in me and I in her. So order it that she shall never be absent from any day of my life, or from one single moment of my eternity. Grant that I may be always beloved and useful: useful to my beloved and loved by her. Save us, transfigure us, and make us one.
When old she wrote:
   The scene has changed, and I have put on the disguise of old age but my heart and soul have both stayed young and now adore you, as they did the day when, for the first time, I gave myself to you.
   He wrote:
   She said: "Shall I keep my shift?"
   I said: "Never can woman make a lovelier gift than utter nakedness."
   O short-lived days of spring!
   That start in laughter and end with pondering.
   Joy! Ashtaroth unmasked: ecstasy, Isis bare.
   Have you at times looked at a rising star?
   O lovely spectacle! "Well, here am I" said she.
   And thus did Venus stand for Adonis to see.

Wednesday, May 9th
   Sports Day, one of the worst for a number of years. It started to rain at 3, the spectators either sat in their cars or retreated under the trees. The staff in the centre of the track were soaked and chilled. It dragged on beyond time, competitors grew slack, the old boys present did not turn up for their race, and we were not going to wait for them, so it was cancelled; fortunately Councillor Hamilton was not present. At the last minute Mrs Lambert could not come, so I had to ask Mrs Griggs to distribute medals and cups. I improved the shining hour by asking Annette [Griggs] to thank her. We had the usual tea at School House, though I did something unusual by giving Wally and Clem a whisky! Wally typically put his foot in it by suddenly calling out all the girl prizewinners as surnames only. You really can't keep up with him.
   This morning at last got a letter from G.D.W. to say she was not coming back. She had a job in Reading. I also have found a very old Oxford graduate, 50, mother of a family, who seems willing to come for this term.

Thursday, May 10th
   Started by holding a parade of boys in playground and getting chairs back from the gym. Then had an Ascension Day service, as little preparation as possible! Then I engaged "the old lady", who said she was like a medlar, but past the change of life! This took till lunch time, after which I endeavoured to compose a report on Mrs E's departure from the fairly large dossier which I now have.
   In the evening did the garden and then wrote a poem for Mary, the first for two years, suggested by that lovely picture of Tintoretto's from the Doge's Palace, Bacchus and Ariadne.

Saturday, May 12th
   Started off at 5 o'clock and met Mary outside Heelas when she came out at 5.30. About 6 we were off and had dinner at The Bear at Wantage. We got to Lechlade before dark and went to see Inglesham. Then to the New Inn. We had what appeared to be a very nice big bedroom in the front with twin beds and a gas fire. I gave Mary a small posy of pheasanteyes. I told her I wanted to show her something, Tintoretto's Bacchus and Ariadne, but she said she wanted to get into bed first, then of course we forgot about the Tintoretto. However afterwards I lay on the outside of the bed and showed her the photograph and read he the poem. We were both very moved.
   We seemed all set for a quiet night, but no, not a bit of it. As usual the awful snaggery of hotels raised its ugly head. A man (with a dog? and possibly a wife?) went in next door. He flings his boots off, I presumed drunk, and got into bed. It was then about midnight. For the next couple of hours he coughed, retched, groaned and called aloud. The more I listened to his heavings, the more wide awake I became and the more I became convinced I was sick myself! Then at times I became angry and thought why should Mary and I be condemned to this horror when we ought to have a house of our own! I took two aspirins, very cautiously not to wake Mary, if indeed she was asleep. Nothing happened, then I realized she was not a sleep, so I got into her bed and we lay together. Finally about 3 we got some peace and managed to go to sleep; O God! Oh English  hotels!
   It was a brilliant May morning, warm sun but a wind to keep it from getting too hot. We drove in leisurely fashion from Lechlade to Hatherop and Coln St Aldwyn, stopping on the way to pick buttonholes of cowslips and list to the nightingales still singing as they once did in the wood below Beacon Hill. It was "Bridal and Earth Sky", the fields were yellow with buttercups and the beeches in green and tender leaf. At Bibury we went into the garden of The Swan and saw the lovely green, cool and bubbling spring, looked over the bridge at the speckled trout and wandered arm in arm up to the mill. Then we sat on the wall by the river till it was time to start for Cirencester.
   Molly's car was drawn up in the market place and we found her in the church porch. I introduced her to Mary and we looked into the church for a minute, nearly getting locked in and having to be let out by an obscure side door - a curious English custom on Sundays. We went round the back of the church and found a seat, then I produced a half bottle of sherry and opened it with a satisfying plop with which we drank healths. We then repaired to the Fleet Trust House where we had a very nice lunch. Afterwards we sat on the seat in front of the porch until it was time at 3.0 for Molly to start back for milking. Molly was reserved but friendly and Mary liked her and felt that they could get on well if they knew one another better, for she was direct and unpretentious. Good! I was very pleased and that Mary and I have had one of our rare, very rare social occasions.

Wednesday, May 16th
   To Aldworth via Bradfield. We spotted some young plovers on a rolled field. They rose, so we walked up to them and picked them up in our hands and they made no effort to move and when we put them down they froze as before.

Thursday, May 17th
   News item in Daily Mail. Suicide by taking Seconal sleeping tablets of "Barbara" in James McBurnie's flat. Coroner thought she was drunk and it was an accident - lucky for James. "She was", he said, "the guest of her accountant." Had been for three weeks! "His sons," James told reporters, "were at his country residence." That man's a marvel!
   Nora weighed in by saying Jimmie and Johnnie should stay with us instead of going to his flat. This caused a row and when I got back from taking Cherry to Clivedon, cables were flying backwards and forwards from Zagreb between Phyllis and Nora. James meanwhile phoned Danish nannies to say Nora on no account to be allowed to see boys!

Wednesday, May 23rd
   I Picked up Mary on the Marlow road at 3.30 and we took our tea to Cliveden. The tulips were at their best in the Long Garden and our little house was leafed, so we could go in and embrace. Nora had gone to Cambridge, so we came back to a cold supper.

Thursday, May 24th
   We had to get up at 7 o'clock for Mary had to leave the house at 7.45. Went over to tea with Cyril and Kay, but had not cleared up the breakfast things. Nora was early and passed me in the market place, just in time to put away two of everything!

Friday, May 25th
   Governors! Before hand we had to go to old Turton-Green's funeral and as a relative Tom Luker had to go on to the crematorium, so he could not take the chair and we were left with old Hamilton. The case of the G.D.W. went off all right, also religious instruction, and they took a lenient view of Wally's use of electricity in the cadet hut for changing, but all these were quite tricky topics.

Saturday, May 26th
   Showed Sir Felix Brunner, funny little lizard-like man, round the school in the morning. he wanted to see the building problems, which at least showed willing.

Sunday, May 27th
   Yesterday a letter arrived from Molly in which she said she like Mary very much and hoped things would sort out all right for us both, which was very nice of her.
   Hilary wrote last week. He was living a life of ease in a garrison at Hohne learning Latin and even getting some cricket. It was near the Belsen concentration camp, which was eerie enough.

Tuesday, May 29th
   A letter from Mary, "Our life together is such a joy and comfort, and something I can retreat into when pushed about in the library."
   Ioan came over after tea and made a charcoal sketch of me as a study for an oil painting. He tells me he has applied for an English job at a modern school in Sussex.

Thursday, May 31st
   Gave my justly dreaded talk on relations between men and women to the Fifth boys. They were a bit stunned I think and asked no questions.
   Read Harry Truman's Vol II about the Berlin blockade and the Korean war. The book is heavy reading, but my opinion of him goes up steadily. He always tried to do the decent and honest thing.

Wednesday, June 6th
   Lady Helen came in to hear the strange story of Mrs Eastland. She was much smarter than usual and nicely made up with a silk scarf from Rome. I said because she had been to see the Girl's Technical; Nora said to see me!

Thursday, June 7th
   Took Cherry to Cliveden. Came back to her house for supper as her parents away and had some Yugoslav Riesling with our chicken, which made C rather abandoned, but retired intact.

Friday, June 8th
   A lovely long and affectionate letter from Mary. Went over to see a Dr Anderson, a heart specialist in the Bath Road, Reading, a rather coarse faced Scotsman. He asked the usual questions about how long I had this choking when I climbed a hill. He said it was due to cramp in the heart muscle.... the [best] thing to do was to find out what activity brought it on, call that x and then live at x - I. Anyway, no more walking in the Alps.
   Mary said she was changing at Reading for Oxford at 6.23. The car was in dock, but I knew Mary would hope to be met, so went in by bus. She looked very well as she came off the train, brown and burnt by the wind. It was lovely to see her and she was so pleased that I came; just caught the 6.50 home to supper.
   A long and interesting letter from Hilary about the scientists he had met at the new camp. He has found they are far less widely read than he is and says by the time they have finished at university the gap will be still wider. "It is not a matter of intelligence, unfortunately....  but perhaps the education I received was liberal in more than one sense."

Sunday, June 10th
   Today The Observer used more than half its paper printing verbatim Kruschev's speech attacking Stalin.  Waded through it, though hard going. It shows what a primitive, barbaric country Russia is.

Monday, June 11th
After this I netted the peas and planted 30 antirhinums. Of course, after last Friday, everything I do I think I can feel my heart giving out.

Wednesday, June 13th
   Told Mary about my interview with Dr Anderson on Friday and said that after all we should have to live in a bungalow. Her views agreed with mine. She had met him in the library and found him a bad-mannered tough, but said he has a great reputation as a doctor. Speriamo!

Saturday, June 16th
   Ioan came up at 10 and finished portrait. I thought it better before he put in the reflection of the lenses of the spectacles.
   Took Cherry out to tea at Theale. Miss Owen, with whom she is rather friendly, said, "You don't often get a headmaster like Mr Barnes!" Very pleased by this.

Sunday, June 17th
   Margaret Burton came to lunch. many years since we had asked her. The policy of not asking people because you think you ought to makes it very difficult when you finally want to! I thought she had mellowed though.
   She told the story of a man and his wife taking auntie for a trip in Spain when auntie died suddenly in the back of the car near frontier. Husband decided to lay her down in the back seat covered in rugs and drive across the frontier to France before reporting her death to the French authorities. They drove to the nearest French town and went into café for a drink, when they came out the car had vanished. Weeks later the car was found abandoned, but so sign of either luggage or auntie. Very awkward, very awkward!

Thursday, June 21st
       This afternoon went to see Dr Hartley. he said I had this cramp of the heart muscle and it was angina, as I thought. He was not committing himself to any forecast or whether it could be checked, but he pointed out that many people lived long without taking any exercise whatsoever. He proposed to try two drugs, one for long term, one for short term if I anticipated strain. I must not get fat.

Friday, June 22nd
   Keble Dinner. Put on my Moss Bros dinner jacket and drove to the college. Not many of my contemporaries there. I liked the new warden, Dr Abbot, from Cambridge via Kings College, London. He was not pompous or forbidding. I told him who I was and explained that Hilary would be coming up in 1957.

Monday, June 26th
   Took the Sixth to the Festival Hall to hear a Beethoven concert, Egmont, Emperor, Eroica. Few had heard a symphony and only one I think had been to the South Bank. We had seats facing the conductor, which I discovered on arrival had no backs, but they were excellent from the children's point of view for they could easily follow the various sections of the orchestra and see the conductor bringing them in. I came our rapt to journey home with the adolescents chattering and drinking pop as usual.

Saturday, June 30th
   Felt very cross that Nora had persuaded me to have an eight, which I didn't want, just because Phyllis had one. The summer term is bad enough and exhausting enough without all this upheaval. Then in addition the maid who was coming fails, and on Thursday Nora slips in Reading and cracks a bone in her elbow and has to have her arm in a sling. Nothing goes right at all.